You Never know Who Will Call

The phone call of my life, was today. It was from a dear friend, offering me internal peace. Telling me every time I lay down to rest, I can just sleep. The sound of his voice, made me look deep within. Letting me know I will always have him as a friend. He said I will always be with you through the times you need someone the most. It made me feel cared for because when I do need a shoulder to lean on, there is no one to rely on. So the comfort he put on my heart helped me come to my senses. It’s not always about who is there for you, it’s about who are you there for when that person needs someone. I felt like my dear friend was poetic all because he had a way with words that sounded like no other. At times I tend to talk to myself, since I feel like nobody cares. During his phone call he told me I am someone that you talk to even when you feel like no ones listening. Man I can tell the conversation was getting deep. So I started to change the subject, and he reached out to speak some more. He confirmed I do have a spirit in me, that is bothered by things in life. He  said just listen to this last statement if nothing more,  my protection and love for you is forever. Then let me know to go on about my day and just call out to him, he’s  listening when I feel he’s not. Thanks my dear friend for looking out for me, no matter the hardships in life. You always know how to deliver the message through the air waves. I shake my head because I know you haven’t forsaken me. My enemy is myself and I should learn how to look the other way. I hope I do hold on to your words and hide them in my heart. I want life, a long prosperous light shining on me when I walk and talk. My friend Thanks for calling, have a good day. You never know what a person can say that will help you get through your situation.

Psalms 121:5 The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand.





World Vs The Church

I was analyzing the Meek Millz and a pastor named (Jomo) dispute about the “amen” song. It’s very interesting how pastor(Jomo) stepped out of his place to try and speak to someone that is out of touch with the spiritual connection with God. I listened for the first time to the aired discussion and Meek said he does’nt want to hear anything about what pastor (Jomo) had to say and went on to say he doesn’t believe in God. Well there you have it, the conversation should have ended there. Tuning in I felt as if pastor (Jomo) should have let it be, because common sense would have let me know you can’t speak to someone that’s rolling in doe. Especially a person that has one goal in life, is to make his music sell to feed his family. Me personally I never waste my time to argue about someone believing like I do nor watch what they say like I do. People around the world view God differently, than others. So you could never really reach out to them, only through prayer. When that person is put on a higher level in life that you are. To think a rapper would really hear you out is funny to me because he’s always going to view it as you want something out of it. Regular people act like that everyday, and they barely making rent money, just saying. I believe in God and I have Christian beliefs because I want to now that I’m older. Even as a artist of so many things myself, I wouldn’t dare write songs of that nature, just saying. Overall I felt Pastor (Jomo) should have just kept him on his prayer list….Bottom line everybody isn’t ready to except the Lord until they are ready, or when he makes them break down to that point in life. Lesson learned pastors that really preach the life they live, don’t have to step out they element. My Pastor would’ve never took part in that, he let God fight battles like that. It’s to many people in the world, for someone just to finger out one person wrong doings. Please give me feed back because it’s crazy that I feel the way pastor (Jomo) does, and understand Meeks frustration. We as humans have had our share on the other side of life, we all are not perfect nor born without sin.


Walk With Life

I’m tired of fighting, but now I’m reaching weak. use to be a strong warrior, now wishing horror would come and see me.Don’t care to win the battle just settle for losing. Do’s and don’t can get you hurt for not having self works. I want to lose the people who pretend to care and love. They all don’t mean no good. Sorry I wanted more from this, I quit. Trust and love was made to be broken. Harsh words and feelings were born to be spoken. Wonder if life was for me, who’s here to see me better off. Really soft on taking a lost, but so be it, if it came across. Don’t want to paint a better picture, no sunshine. Only cloudy and stormy skies, from all dirty trials. Sick of the rainy days, want to get well soon. Just take me now Lord, no matter if its my doom. Pain and struggle is all I know, so show me the door. Walking through with a sense of peace. I think I hate life for what it can bring. Wish I could wake up, and this would all be a dream. Dog on it, this ain’t what I pictured my life like. Whats next for me, will it get better. Not a suicide note, just thoughts in the seas. Going through the motions not thinking clear. One day will be my time and I wont show no fear. Tears drain from my heart, as I lack a soul. Deaths angel coming, while life’s span has taken its toll. all I ever wanted was to be loved and fairly treated. Life showed me different and kept me constantly drinking. It wasn’t just people,it was my purpose. That made me feel worthless, things not going the way I worked for. Chasing the good with the bad, is like drowning in snow. It’s a cold world we live in. God where is my strength you been giving. Can’t blame you for feeling like everybody else. All they say is I brought it on myself.Getting to a better place is hard, when harboring on bad thoughts and feelings. No truth in lying about wrong doings, we both were wrong. So just own up to it. My fault for being disgusted with you, and mad at you. I need help, all you do is have at it. Getting under my skin. I hate the BS in between us, no love or trust in between us.Don’t act as if religion means everything, don’t play me or this can become your worst dream. Life ain’t what it seems to be, dying on the inside. With my heart that cries, bleeding daily. How can I take it, just knock me off. I’m not scared of death, its a part of life’s plan. Wish I can start again, make better choices. Stay away from the crazies, forget the judging. I maybe wrong,but Lord take me. Tired of waiting, not good with patience. Thankful for my daughter, the only light in my tunnel. I’m faced with the challenges of life. Wrong or right, bless my love ones to make it through the night. Watching to many past before me, wish it were myself. I will be glad when the world end, won’t have to go through this suffering. Still want a change of heart, but lets take the low road instead. Wasn’t them, but just me. Life ain’t fair, I swear this ain’t meant for us. If it was because of Adam and Eve, I wish them a life time of pain for what they caused us. Dangerous, from here to hell, sorry I can’t help, but be myself.



From the beginning of time love could be defined. Many would say it’s all about compassion and caring for one another. Love is an emotion of choice, that people prefer to show. Nothing will ever be able to conquer over love. When you are going through the pain of struggle or a bad relationship. Being in love is a little different then just I have love for another person. Being in love can be a challenge, when the mate is not compassionate about expressing the emotion. Being in love can take the hurt away, from having a bad day. Most people shield themselves with under armour to make sure they don’t get their feelings shredded. For instance I’m going to talk about myself. I am a person that’s always on guard for protecting my heart. Being hurt over and over again can damage a persons character in so many ways. Now that I realize it’s the bad moments in life that makes you build character traits such as love. Staring into the hearts of those you choose to love, can be deeply shared. Me seeing the day of marriage is a way to see how much my wife actually loved me with all her heart. Growing up as a teenager I made mistakes by saying things that pushed her away, at least I thought. Love tends to over shadow the wrong and bad in people. Some can see past that fault people hold inside, just to take a chance on love. Man it’s a beautiful thing to see how my Wife (Salina), gave me a hand in marriage. She really express to me her love, tender care, and heart for my worldly flesh. I’m so proud to have someone like her that is leading me with the soft touch and teaching me what true love is. I got into my feelings again, sorry about that. Back to the topic at hand, having love for another person is big of a difference then being in love. I myself love all the human race, but is disgusted with the ways of the ones who tend to do things to not love themselves and others. Love for a neighbor means you would love to see them at their full potential. Wanting them to do better in life of success, no matter what it is. If love is what God recommends us to have for one another then lets jump to it, and stop hurting one another because we don’t love ourselves. Love means you will make mistakes, but get back on the right path and improve your ways of loving. So don’t miss quote or misunderstand me, I as a person hurt people that I love with meaningless words. It’s never to hurt you intentionally, it’s all because I’m going through the emotions of pain. Next time you see someone you love or want to tell you love them, do it. Mean every bit of it, from your heart.

Love, Peace and Quality!




The World

Am i the only one to believe the world will one day end. Growing up the elders always told me to get my life right with God because the last days are here. Me being me i always mocked them. Now that I’m older and seek knowledge i once lacked. Maturity is bound to come from it. All i did growing up while seeing signs, i did not take heed to them. A movie called “Left Behind” came to film the year 2000 september 4th on video. That movie showed the first black president and was followed by the rapture as well. Here it is 2012 and the world have a black president, crazy i know. Then mentioned in the Holy Bible rumors of war and chaos around the world. Look at the crimes around you, shootings in movie theaters, churches being burned, young generation killing at a high. Animals falling dead, new species being found. People and animals are being cloned, some even mutated. Masons with the one world order, things of evil is coming to the front line. The government is controlling the population, by pushing abortions and creating new diseases. Open your eyes people!!!

Passion For The Next

People do not understand what they have until it’s gone. A person could never know what it feels like to be hurt until pain has been applied by the mate. Things are easy to get misunderstood. Sticking together no matter what should be difficult, but well faught out. Who knows love like the couples that with-stand the fire. I haven’t been an angel, saying misguided words to my love, not realizing I am punnishing myself for what I inflick upon her. She is a strong woman for standing by me through the
harsh pain I have caused passed her health. I want us to go twelve rounds and not give up. It starts
with me to change my bad habits. Love is a gift, while pain is a curse that’s not easly broken.

Today’s Prayer

God only knows how today will end. Asking God for a good start to let this day begin. Hoping today be better than the day before. Crying out to the father, that he grant me peace. Saying i want you to use me Lord and make me grow stronger in you. Things can get better, i pray and hope. I ask for strength, faith, and hunger for the wisdom of your power father. Sorry for not holding fast to your words. I know i should because you make all things impossible possible. I continue to fall short because of my addiction to sin. Please hear my cry out for help and your mercy. I need you now, i want you to order my steps. I’m on the verge of losing my life’s work, marriage, daughter, and myself. Lord please bless me with the wisdom i lack, hide it in my heart, mind, soul, and spirit. In Jesus name i pray Amen.